Mood Fail

Today as I was leaving work a construction guy outside my building said to me (in a pretty hefty southern drawl), “Have ah ever told ya you look lahke Reese Witherspewn?” To which I replied, “No! But thank you!”

I thought the whole thing was kind of funny because:

1. He said “I” as in “Have I…” and I’m thinking “Wha? When would you have? We’ve never met before.” And, 
2. My response was actually a lie, if when he said “I” he actually meant “anybody,” because just last week my friend Kate commented on this photo that I look like Reese. 

Crazy, right? I mean, that’s a pretty big compliment – and the first time I hear it is twice in one week?? NICE. So I walked away feeling kind of happy.  

 

And then I almost hit a person on a bike with my car.
On the way to the police station to pay for a traffic ticket.

 

B U Z Z.

K I L L.

It’s a Record

The high today in Anchorage was 80 degrees, a record high for July 7. In fact, it’s now 10:30 pm and it’s still 72 degrees outside (and completely sunny, I might add…). And do you want to know something interesting? The highest temperature ever recorded in Anchorage was only EIGHTY SIX degrees, in 1953. We were not that far away from that today.

Now you might be thinking to yourself, “80 degrees is not hot.” But guess what, people? We don’t have air conditioning. Why? Because we DON’T NEED IT. Usually.

All I’m saying is that when you’re doing pilates in a building that does not have controlled air when it’s 80 degrees, it feels “hella” hot.

What I’m also saying? I am LOVING it. 

I don’t think I’ve felt this warm in 4 years. In fact, as my mom was saying all last week during her visit, if it was like this more often in Anchorage, we’d be inundated with people.

I didn’t think it would be fair of me to brush over the magnificence that is the weather this summer, even if I did mention that we had a nice Spring. If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time then you know that what we are experiencing is nothing to be scoffed at;  I am soaking it up.

Tomorrow is forecasted to hit 75. I am loving my state right now.

The Best Part About Being a Musician

 

 

 

 

Of Course I Will

Do you ever find it difficult to just turn your brain off? To relax? Calm down without the distractions of things to do, people to call, plans to make, things to find, bills to pay?

I find I’m incredibly brain busy these days. And more than a little bit stressed, if I were completely honest (and when was I ever not?).

I’m stressed about work because we’re nearing A LOT of deadlines. And it’s not that I don’t think everything will get done, because I know it will. But I work all day and kind of feel like I’m never making any headway. As soon as I’m checking off things on my to do, my inbox is full. As soon as I manage to wade through my inbox, I remember about 5 things that need attention. I guess I haven’t experienced this “more work than time” scenario in my previous work experiences.

I’m stressed about music because the album is incredibly time consuming, and awesome, but time consuming. And we’re working toward a deadline, and we’re trying to make all the pieces come together, including album art and design, arrangements and recording, and sometimes I just want to take the easy road and do whatever it takes to “get it done.” And sometimes I just want to just say YES to something because then at least it would be finished. But can it be done a different way? Do I have the mental and emotional capacity to invest more?

And then there’s just the other, regular life stresses. My hands and wrists hurt and I can’t fix it. I realized lately I’m a supreme cheapskate, and it’s a little disturbing. I just feel tired – what’s causing that? Sometimes I don’t feel like I make the best choices…  And sometimes I question myself.

 

Is this sounding melancholy? Cause I guess I’m feeling kind of melancholy.

 

And I didn’t just write this blog to complain. I guess I wrote it to let you know where I’m at. To unload a little bit of the stress by identifying it, writing it down, and in doing so also realizing that it’s not the end of the world. I will continue to function. I just need to take things one step at a time….

 

Tonight as I was putting my niece to bed she said to me, “Are you going to stay here with me?” And it kind of melted my heart a little, because she loves me. And she wants me to be here with her. And just now as I was writing all my concerns, I thought….  that’s a little bit of how I feel. Like, I’m the child and I’m asking, “Are you going to stay here with me?”

And His answer to me? ”Of course I will.”

When art imitates life…

…Or is that the other way around?

Must Be New Music Thursday

You guys? For the very first time ever, I’m about to listen to Bethany Dillon’s new song, Everyone to Know. It’s up on her myspace, but not even available to buy yet. I’m pretty excited about this. Am I going to like it? Will I LOVE it?? Is it going to have to grow on me? Only one way to find out. Hang on….

————————————————————————————————————————-

Okay, I just sat and listened to it twice through. And I’m looping it now as I type this. And how should I put this? I liked it. Is anybody surprised? No? Not surprised? Really?

Yeah, me either.

But I will say this, I don’t love the melody of the chorus. (And that’s pretty much the only critique I can come up with.)

The song is pretty catchy, and I’m excited to listen to it more to see how my feelings about it change (have you ever noticed how that happens with music??).  There are a couple lines that I really dig. Like the part where she says she’s “chased after love that wasn’t there” and the melody in the bridge where she says “taste and see,” oh man, that melody is killer. And the song is different…. Different from her other stuff. She’s always doing that kind of thing – making each album sound completely different.

Oh. 

You haven’t heard it yet?

Just go here. You can listen for free.

Want to hear the story of how it was written? Okay. There you go.

 

People, her new album is coming out September 8th. And I don’t have to hear the rest of it to know I want to recommend it to you. She’s just good music.

Just Stick Me in a Freezer

You know, that whole, ‘my hands hurt because I work at a computer all day’ thing? Well, it’s gotten me in the habit of icing my hands at night.

In all truth, I’m in the habit of alternating ice and heat while I watch “How I Met Your Mother” on my laptop. Except tonight I wasn’t watching that cause I ran out of DVDs to watch (and I’m trying to save money okay?). I was actually trying to write a blog, which is a bit ironic if you ask me: using the computer, which aggravates the condition, while the remedy sits idly by – slowly melting under the bedside lamp.

And speaking of the lamp, I am now sitting at my computer icing my elbow.

Because while trying to write a blog, I accidently burned my elbow on the thing that was melting the ice that would remedy my hands which I was aggravating while trying to write a blog, and I accidently burned my elbow on the thing that was melting the ice that would remedy my hands which I was aggravating while trying to write a blog, and I accidently burned my elbow on the thing that was melting the ice that would remedy my hands which I was aggravating while…..

Well I guess you probably get the picture.

I Live in Expectation

I was drawn to the guitar today. Kind of like you thirst for water during a hard workout. Kind of like you feel compelled to eat popcorn when going to the movies. Kind of like an itch you’re just dying to scratch.

I sat down and I started playing. I sang a little bit and I goofed around with the chords. I wondered whether I would be ever be great at the guitar – or even good enough to carry a show on my own. I laughed aloud at the lyrics I came up with. And I felt my spirit rest just a little. I felt a little calmer and a little more at peace. And I enjoyed it.

Remember when I said it was a long winter? Well I wasn’t only speaking literally.

The past year of my life has been one of the more challenging. Challenging in a very deep, tangible way. I have felt the growing pains, and I continue to feel them.

I’m learning about myself in ways I never knew I was uninformed. I’m seeing myself more clearly than ever before, and realizing more than ever the desperate need I have for a saving grace…. for an ALL CONSUMING hope. I have behaved in ways I am too ashamed to admit. I have been frustrated and angry, lonely and longing, in pursuit and being pursued. It has been challenging, but it has been good.

And I did not run from it. I stopped. I listened. I turned and I leaned in. And as I’ve done that, I have felt my spirit rest just a little. I feel a little calmer and have a little more peace. And I thank God for the opportunity to know him and need him in a very real way.

It’s Cloudy Today

Sally said I should blog about wanting sunshine, to reverse the effects of my obviously powerful yesterday.

So, for the record, I am now craving sunshine. One dreary day at a time, please.

A Surprising Spring

It was a long winter.

So long, in fact, the last year has kind of felt like two. (seriously, I keep forgetting that my friend’s baby is only 1 – or that another friend and I only met last year.. it actually confuses me.) And I don’t know if you remember this, but I haven’t had high hopes for Alaska’s weather. But you know what, guys? I’ve been pleasantly surprised.

A few weeks ago I swear it was in the 70s. And that isn’t nothing, people. We’ve had so much sunshine I’ve even welcomed the day or two of rain we’ve seen. I even find myself kind of craving a dreary rain day. And I’m being reminded again and again of just how beautiful it is here in Alaska.

It smells like summer again, so fresh and clean; it reminds me of my first year living here. The mountains have nearly lost their snow, the trees have gained their green, and the blue sky shines brightly in contrast to each of them. Being here at times like this literally brings me close to tears.

No wonder people move up here and never want to leave.

There is almost nothing like it, at least nothing that I’ve seen.

It may not be shorts and tank top weather every weekend, but it’s a wonderful place to live. And hey, how many times have you experienced sunshine warm enough for t-shirts and flip flops while ice fishing? I mean, I wasn’t fishing…

I don’t “fish.”

But I could have…

Oh, and did I mention this lake is the same place where we stood bundled only 6 weeks prior?

If you’d have told me then that I wouldn’t be miserable forever, I wouldn’t have believed you. And I think that’s a surprise any one of us would be grateful for.