Why is it that everything in life seems like a popularity contest? I’m telling ya.. MySpace, Facebook, Blogger, Magazines, Reality Television. Perhaps I’m too easily affected by what I see and hear around me. But I will tell you something – for many years of my life I’ve compared myself to those around me. I allowed myself to be judged by it and allowed myself to feel that something was awry or lacking. It’s not even a feeling I can explain outrightly, it’s just an internal feeling that what “you” have and are and do is so much more interesting and better and cooler than what I have and am and do.
Oh sure, I’m not really affected by these things anymore – at least not like I used to be. But I have to TELL myself not to be affected by it. I have to shut the computer and not dwell on it. I have to soak in the reality and the acceptance of me – just me and just my life and the revelation that these are beautiful things. But why is it like that? Why do these persistent comparisons exist? And why does my heart long for things to be bigger and better and greater and more adventurous than they are?
I don’t know why I wrote all of that, except that I felt like writing and that it was on my heart. I want to be a true person. I want to find completion and joy in Christ alone. So why do I consistently go looking for it in people and places and things?? Just something to think about…
