Final Destination

New Month!

It’s like a clean slate. A fresh start. I feel like I need that these days…

I’m headed to my final destination today. Well, at least starting in that direction. I’ll finally arrive in Dallas on Tuesday, and I am so ready for it. While I’ve had a great time with friends and family in the last few weeks, this nomadic lifestyle takes its toll. I think now, especially, I am longing for consistency and a schedule, a solid plan I can execute, a routine, and perhaps a little more time for reflection.

If you were reading with me pre CD release and pre big move, you’ll remember I was stressed and scared for everything ahead of me. I’m happy to report that I have felt more at ease recently, but even 3 weeks out of Anchorage has taught me some things. I have felt a little bit like I’m shooting in the dark – and I don’t want that. I am a calculated, strategic planner. I’m going to feel much more relaxed when my day to day activity reflects some of that.

I’m ready to get settled and find what lies ahead for me. I’m ready for Texas. Do you think it’s ready for me??

Mountain Envy

It’s official, I am going to miss the mountains.

I spent the last weekend in Colorado Springs, and it was great. It snowed! And can I tell you how excited I was about that? I LOVE snow. Probably the only winter I’m legitimately going to get this year.

Amie and I went walking downtown, got coffee and perused the shops.

Here’s the thing – I had a good time. And I loved the views of the mountains and the wintery feel in the air. While I am stoked about the community I believe waits for me in Texas, I am seriously concerned that the geography is going to feel a little not right to me. I did just move from Alaska after all!

Perhaps a regular visit to the mountains will be required.

Blessed

Well, you guys? I’m decompressing.

The last four days felt as long as an entire week.

I’ve been wanting to sit and write about it, but I was frantically packing all my things yesterday and saying goodbye to friends and family. I have never been so scattered before taking a trip, much less moving everything! I forgot my car keys in my niece’s bedroom. NO BIG.

But seriously? Can I just tell you how blessed I was this weekend by my church family? I had the opportunity to play and sing and share my story – and I was really encouraged by the response. It’s great to be a part of a community that supports you and believes in what you’re doing. That’s the kind of response I got this weekend – from friends, worship team partners, and church members. I felt really blessed by it.

And although it was hard for me to leave, I’m excited about where I’m headed.

This week? I’m in California, hanging with the fam.

Next? Colorado.

Keep checking back. There’s definitely more to come in this.

Solicitation

I’m just going to be honest: I’m a little bit stressed.

I have a big responsibility tomorrow night, and some things that need to be finished before then.

Oh and yeah. I’m moving.

Pray for me?

Packing

Last weekend I thought I was going to get everything packed up. And just when I thought it was over, I had all this extra STUFF lying around. Where am I gonna put that??

I haven’t been eating right this week. Or sleeping regularly. I can’t seem to focus on the tasks at hand. My brain feels like fudge.

mmmmm….    fudge…

I’m training the new ‘me’ at work, and trying to get things ready for my final exit. It’s hard to prepare for all of that…

But I just keep trucking along, like we truckers do.

Or something.

And so I ramble on…

A Reflection for Friday

I watched this movie tonight with my roommates and friend Jodi who is moving out of state on Monday. (See? Everybody’s leaving…)

And, it was good.

 

 

There. That’s my “something” for today.

What It Means To Leave

Davita got on a plane on Friday.

Sally leaves tonight.

People are moving out of state like it’s going out of style, and it’s causing me to consider my own impending journey.

The thing is, I have never cried during a move. Not once, though I’ve made a major move 5 times in the last 10 years. And I’m pretty sure I can guarantee that I will cry at some point during this transition. Whether before or during or immediately after, I can’t say. But I know it will happen.

Somebody once told me that if leaving here is difficult it means I’ve lived well.  And if having lived well means I’m going to miss what I leave?

I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Saturday Morning Pondering

My roommates go away for the weekend, and I remember how much I don’t want to live by myself.

I used to think I wanted to – in fact I rented a place for four months on my own and I really enjoyed it. But a life lived alone, even only strictly factually speaking, can be a very lonely life. And I don’t want to wake up every Saturday morning to an empty house, with no one to share breakfast with.

I’ve got a lot of things to get sorted this weekend. Packing for my upcoming drive down the AlCan, making final plans and setting into motion the CD Release Concert only 5 weeks away. But for some reason my head feels like it’s in a cloud. I can’t quite put my brain around what I need to do, or how to do it. I’m not sure I can judge what is most important right now.

I think I’ll go outside and enjoy the sunshine.

Utter Dependence

I am feeling incredibly tired today.

This morning I woke with actual anxiety in my heart, a pulsing of adrenaline through my blood.

Some days I question everything – my decisions… my ability.

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But the fact remains, in a few short weeks everything about my life will be different than it is now. For better or for worse, I am moving. I am pursuing music. I am attempting to make the most of what I’ve been given. And I’m going to have to literally depend on God every single step of the way.

I guess that’s not really a terrible place to be.

Seasons Change

Lately I’ve been noticing the darkness of our August evening sky. And while I was on campus today I was surprised to see fallen yellow leaves on the ground. There’s an undeniable autumn chill to the air in the mornings… I guess it’s true that nothing lasts forever. 

And I’m sorry Texas, but I am not excited about what your geography and climate have to offer. 

 

Things don’t ever just stay the same, you know? And probably, we don’t really want them to. 

 

But when summer has been so good, it’s hard to say goodbye.
Metphorically and otherwise…