Ode To My Show

I started to write a poem about how I’m playing at a coffee shop tonight, but when I was half way through (thinking it was genius at first pen, of course) I realized that it had absolutely no structure. Or rhyme. So basically, it was like:

I like coffee.

I like  music.

Come see me play music and drink coffee.

Alright, so it wasn’t quite that bad. But it was bad enough that it caused me to delete the whole thing and start from scratch.

If by ’start from scratch’ you mean state explicitly what I’d tried to say poetically? Then Yes. That’s what this “from scratch” blog post is.

 

I bet you like music and coffee.

You should come hear me play music while you drink coffee.

The Pearl Cup

Downtown Dallas  

11/12/2009

6:30 pm

Focusing Perspective

I’ve been thinking about something ever since my show last Saturday night. The event went well enough, though I could certainly stand to work on my presentation. I’m not always sure how to engage the crowd in a coffee shop style setting, but that’s kind of what got me thinking.

I love to sing, I do. But what I love most about singing is truly sharing my heart behind the songs. I write with purpose, and a lot of who I am goes into those songs. Last Saturday night I was  playing my set, and a friend in the audience asked me to share the story behind a song, and I felt like I couldn’t.

I felt like I couldn’t say, in a very public, casual atmosphere, what was really behind the next song. Because there wasn’t a story or event I could tell, it was just about God – how I come to him (and sometimes don’t) and about how he draws me anyway.

Now you might think this means I am afraid to give a public testimony. I’m not. But I’m cautious when I call a venue and ask if I can come and play, that what I say fits into what they are expecting in allowing me to be there. I’m not into bait and switch evangelism.

But the fact that I didn’t feel comfortable to share my heart made me really evaluate what I want in performing. I don’t want to play a ton of shows that are just music and performance – no substance. Somehow, I need to narrow my focus. Either I choose to find venues to play that will be, up front, open to my message. Or I learn to be a little more bold in my approach – even if it alienates some.

I’m not totally sure how this is going to change things. But I know that I don’t want to waste my time or my money this year playing music that doesn’t matter. Because the message does matter. And that’s why I’m here.

iBlog From My iPhone

Y’all. This week I got an iPhone. It is awesome. So awesome in fact, that I am blogging on a wordpress app as we speak. Forgive me if my punctuation is off kilter.

The best thing about the iPhone so far? Losing all my contacts when I synced it to my iTunes.

Oh wait, that was the lamest part.

Back On the Wagon

I’m happy to report that tomorrow, only 2 weeks after leaving Alaska, I am playing my first show. How exciting, right? I am actually doing this. And in the next 9 days I am playing 3 times!!

Do you want to know something? I’m nervous. I always am…

In the morning I’m headed down to Colorado Springs for a couple of days with my good friend Amie, her husband Nick, and their daughter Lorelei. [Okay, how cute and crazy is it that they have a daughter name Lorelei Honor...  Do I have any Gilmore Girls fans in the house?? So funny and awesome. I thought they were joking when they first told me.]

Amie and I were roommates when I lived in Dallas 7 years ago, and she was the best kind of roommate. We haven’t seen each other that often in the last few years, but it has been great to catch up with her. I’m thankful to have so many good friends in my life, new and old (and across the country).

When I finally get to Dallas a week and a half from now, it’s going to be a happy homecoming. I can’t wait to get settled a little bit, get into a routine, and figure out what things are going to look like – for a solid 6 weeks, at least…

And you know, I’m always on the lookout for places to play. I’m planning a trip to MN and surrounding area in the late spring, and a trip out East is in order as well. I’ve got friends in NY, VA, DC, and CT.

Anywhere you are, my friends, that’s where I’ll be.

Happy music making.

CD Release Concert

Well, it happened. Tonight was the night. I did it. It’s done.

I’m not gonna lie, I feel a certain sense of relief.

 

Do you ever get in your car to drive somewhere, and 1o minutes later you’re at your destination – no idea how you got there? Sometimes that happens to me when I’m singing. I’ll be trucking along, singing words, all the while wondering how I’m remembering the words to my songs when my head is clearly somewhere else. Mind you, this doesn’t happen for the WHOLE song, but I’m thinking about the faces I’m looking at, the kids running around in the background, how my in-ear monitor is falling out…  All that stuff. 

And the other thing that sometimes happens? I’ll be singing a song and I’ll have an internal freak out moment that I’m spontaneously going to FORGET that song. WHILE I’m singing it. That doesn’t usually happen. But sometimes I do forget the chords. And then I just fake it.

 

I’ll be sure to post pictures from the concert when I get them. Thanks to everyone who came to the show and to those who helped out with logistics. It was an awesome night.

Solicitation

I’m just going to be honest: I’m a little bit stressed.

I have a big responsibility tomorrow night, and some things that need to be finished before then.

Oh and yeah. I’m moving.

Pray for me?

A Collection of Sorts

Tomorrow is my last day of work.

Friday is my concert. 

And on Sunday night, I’m leaving Alaska.

 

There is not a word that describes what I’m feeling right now. It literally does not exist; it would have to have 20 emotions in its definition.

Oh wait, maybe there is a word, and it’s “confused.” Because clearly I’m having an issue feeling singularly.

But the overarching sense I have? ANTICIPATION.

This Music Thing is for Real

Last night I got the chance to do a gig downtown anchorage. It was the first of what I assume will be many shows on my own, and generally those are not my favorite kind of shows. I love playing with a full band – and I’m usually a little unsure of my own guitar skills so I like the security offered by playing with others. Also, a band makes my music sound so much more awesome.

So there’s that.

In any case, I managed to set up a gig last minute this week. Anchorage hosts a “First Friday Art Walk” each first Friday of the month, and the downtown Starbucks tried hosting a live musician (ME!) for the first time. It was awesome.

You know? I was way less nervous than I thought I was going to be. I tend to do a quasi freak out about playing shows on occasion.

I KNOW. It’s incredibly ironic, all things considered.

But it was a great time. I was relieved that I felt comfortable, and I enjoyed myself.  Quite a few friends were in attendance, and I even sold some cds! All in all, a wonderful experience, and encouraging as well..

The Next Two Weeks: A List

• Eight more days of work
• Four winter tires to sell
• Two grooming appointments to attend (dentist, haircut…)
• A Thousand CDs to receive in the mail
• Thirteen posters to hang around town
• One website to finish
• Two Sundays to play at Cornerstone and Changepoint
• One MJ and the Groaters reunion
• Three (or more) rehearsals with the full band
• One CD Release Concert to perform
• Countless people to say goodbye to
• One going away party to be blessed by
• A million new adventures to begin

Saturday Morning Pondering

My roommates go away for the weekend, and I remember how much I don’t want to live by myself.

I used to think I wanted to – in fact I rented a place for four months on my own and I really enjoyed it. But a life lived alone, even only strictly factually speaking, can be a very lonely life. And I don’t want to wake up every Saturday morning to an empty house, with no one to share breakfast with.

I’ve got a lot of things to get sorted this weekend. Packing for my upcoming drive down the AlCan, making final plans and setting into motion the CD Release Concert only 5 weeks away. But for some reason my head feels like it’s in a cloud. I can’t quite put my brain around what I need to do, or how to do it. I’m not sure I can judge what is most important right now.

I think I’ll go outside and enjoy the sunshine.