I just don’t think that I “get” it. This is hard and it’s not even close to what I expected it to be. I just want it to be easy. I just want to know what to do all the time and do it right. I don’t want to make mistakes or say the wrong thing, say too much or not say enough. I don’t want to look like an idiot. I think I always look like an idiot. I think I am an idiot. But if somebody would just give me a chance, a really decent chance- maybe I could prove them wrong.