past, present, and future

I’ve been thinking lately that I ought to write more. I think part of me just wishes I had more to write – as though I should…. I mean, don’t I have something significant to share? If not, shouldn’t I?

I’m going to be 27 this summer…. and for the past few months I’ve kind of been afraid of it. Lately though, I think I’m warming up to the idea. I think I have learned so much in my 27 years and I’m thankful that I’ve become and am becoming everything I am. Sometimes I wish I could do it over again – all of it – and be able to do it better. But the truth is we pretty much do the best we can right?

I guess what I’m saying is I’m in awe of God. In awe of his infinite wisdom and, honestly, in awe that some of the most painful experiences are known, allowed, and used by him to form us into the creations he intended us to be. There have been plenty of things in life I have wanted or thought I needed that just didn’t work out…
But now, 27 years later, I feel like I’m standing at the precipice of the life I always thought I wanted – only better. And if all those “things” that I envision and hope for in my future are not actually scheduled to come to pass, then it means that God has given me a hope and joy in him that far surpasses anything this world could offer.

Well, maybe that’s true either way.
I hope so.

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