who am I and what am I doing?

I’ve been wondering lately about the sovereignty of God as it relates to my life. There have been a few specific events over the last few weeks – and really over the course of my life – that have resulted in this response: “Huh. Well…..” I look at these situations, that are often not what I was expecting, and think to myself, “God has got to be at work in that.” It’s almost as though the things that make absolutely no sense to me cause me to trust God that much more. I mean, what else can I do?

I choose to trust God in these situations because whether or not he “ordained” them to happen, the fact of the matter is, they exist. And if I truly believe that God is in control, than I believe he will teach me what I need to know in these situations. He will bring me through the joys and sorrows, he will guide me to where I need to go and who I need to be.

But, it’s almost like I have it backwards.. Don’t I? I hope that my heart and life are TRULY open to God. Am I really allowing him to guide me, before my circumstances give me no other option? Am I willing to do things his way? I want to be “positioned” so that God’s best is happening in my life, that I’m on the straightest line from A to B, and that I am amenable to his purposes in my life.

That being said, here are all the crazy ideas that are rattling around in my head:
peace corps
short term missions
higher education
law school (someday..)

seriously.. who the crap am I and what am I doing here?

3 thoughts on “who am I and what am I doing?

  1. Is it strange that I have had the EXACT same things rattle through my head? Different times, and all sorts of different ways. But everything you’ve mentioned as made its way through the paths of my mind for my imagination to deal with. I heard it once said, “Love God and do as you please.” You’re not crazy, you’re just a good listener….

  2. Dear goodness… I know just what you mean. There are just so many interesting and worthwhile things to do in life, it’s impossible to decide on only one or two. We’re so blessed to even have so many options…

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