I’ve been thinking about something ever since my show last Saturday night. The event went well enough, though I could certainly stand to work on my presentation. I’m not always sure how to engage the crowd in a coffee shop style setting, but that’s kind of what got me thinking.
I love to sing, I do. But what I love most about singing is truly sharing my heart behind the songs. I write with purpose, and a lot of who I am goes into those songs. Last Saturday night I was playing my set, and a friend in the audience asked me to share the story behind a song, and I felt like I couldn’t.
I felt like I couldn’t say, in a very public, casual atmosphere, what was really behind the next song. Because there wasn’t a story or event I could tell, it was just about God – how I come to him (and sometimes don’t) and about how he draws me anyway.
Now you might think this means I am afraid to give a public testimony. I’m not. But I’m cautious when I call a venue and ask if I can come and play, that what I say fits into what they are expecting in allowing me to be there. I’m not into bait and switch evangelism.
But the fact that I didn’t feel comfortable to share my heart made me really evaluate what I want in performing. I don’t want to play a ton of shows that are just music and performance – no substance. Somehow, I need to narrow my focus. Either I choose to find venues to play that will be, up front, open to my message. Or I learn to be a little more bold in my approach – even if it alienates some.
I’m not totally sure how this is going to change things. But I know that I don’t want to waste my time or my money this year playing music that doesn’t matter. Because the message does matter. And that’s why I’m here.